Since you’re the sibling of a child with different needs, I wanted to write you a letter explaining why you are not just amazing, but you have a one-up on life. I know your life with a special needs sibling is hard and definitely different than the relationship that your friends have with their siblings, but trust me, you most definitely will be more prepared for this life than anyone else.
Let me explain…
I know you deal with more chaos and uncertainty than most kids do, and your parents spend a lot of time taking extra care of your sibling, like bringing them to therapy, OT or doctors appointments. If your sibling is admitted to the hospital or a special school not only do you have to deal with your parents constantly being on the phone or going to meetings, but you also might feel like they are too busy for you.
There is no question you have been given unique challenges, but while all this business and chaos is going on, you also see the love your parents have for your special sibling, and it’s being embedded into your heart.
Right now that may not seem very important to you, but there’s a very significant program being downloaded into your character, you are learning a great deal about compassion for the human condition. That type of compassion will no doubt help you grow into an impressively successful adult.
You see, compassion for the human condition allows you to understand people in a way most mortals miss. When you grow up, you will be able to see the real need for understanding, and be able to read the moods of your family, friends and co-workers. You will be able to problem solve in ways that spark imagination and creativity. These skills are priceless because they are the root of all success and happiness.
When you see the patience your parents exhibit while caring for your sibling, or all the ways in which they are trying to get your siblings needs met, it’s being ingrained into your mind. You see your parents exhaust themselves so your sibling and you are well taken care of, and you’re learning the benefits of putting effort in to the care of others. You may not know it, but all of these little things are teaching you the traits of an amazing person.
There is no doubt that being the sibling to a child with different needs is a struggle. I know you have those moments where your heart stings with jealousy, or you are filled with anger, or you’re worried sick over your sibling. These feelings are totally understandable, and you have a right to be upset every now and then, but know that even though they can’t necessarily communicate it, your sibling completely and utterly loves you. They look at you with those beautiful eyes and know you’re there for them no matter what. The bond you have is indescribable. You’re their sibling, their friend and their protector. Your sibling might not speak it verbally, but we both know your hearts together carry on conversations us adults could never possibly understand.
I want you to know, the reason you are going to rock this life is because you know real love, you know true heartache, and you know what’s genuinely important. You have lived a life that takes a strong heart and a strong mind. You will mature much faster than your schoolmates (don’t be too hard on them), you’ll exhibit compassion that astounds others, and you will most definitely have a wicked sense of humor that will enable you to keep life joyful no matter what.
When you were introduced to your sibling with complex needs for the first time, that moment in time was pinned in the stars. It was then that your destiny was determined. You will be an awesome human being and you’re going to change lives for the better… all because you were the sibling of a child with special needs.
Rock on, my brave friend.
All my love,
The momma of a child like you and your special sibling
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Hi! I’m Yvette Marie a Thought Wrangler (an intellectual nomad looking for understanding and hope in all things). I created this blog space because I believe Flexibility and Flow in Neurodiversity is not only possible, but necessary for living a full life of health and wellness.